Saturday, December 19, 2009

Surprise Holiday Enemas

As the holidays come speeding toward us, I, like many others, have the dizzy-spinning head, forced-surprise enema feeling that comes with it. Yes kids, when one reaches adulthood Christmas time is then loosely compared to having your colon flushed and cleansed..... But only for a smidge, by the time it actually gets here, one finds the time and the heart to enjoy it.. I know I complain, but for the most part I enjoy it....... or I just try to repress it. Like the year my husband (now my ex-husband) gave me a toilet seat for Christmas. Nothing says "I love you" like a toilet seat. "Honey, I got you something to sit on while you crap! Now you can think of me every time you defecate!" Already there, buddy......already there..

In the past I had blamed that grouchy holiday feeling on the fact that I worked at an arts and crafts store. We would start stocking our holiday items before Halloween is even over, and had so damn much of it, it looked and felt like Father Christmas was murdered, and his entrails were trailed throughout the aisles. So basically by the time Christmas day actually arrived, I was so burned out on it, that the magic of it was dulled a bit. Then when I finally left that job, I assumed that the bad feelings of the holidays would go away, and the warm fuzzy, ugly sweater and santa hat wearing feelings would come rushing back.... This is my second Christmas to not be employed there, and I still don't feel compelled to spatter red bows all over every room in the house, and cover everything in that fake snow crap that is probably giving us all some sort of tumor or major lung issue. I did however catch wind of the holiday spirit for a moment and listen to a Christmas CD I made while wrapping gifts. Granted most of the songs were from The Nightmare Before Christmas, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, it was still done with good intention.

But now that I have completed all of my Christmas shopping I can relax and try to enjoy what is coming. I like to refer to it as "completion of shopping" as opposed to its true definition: "ran out of money so I'm calling it done".. It just sound better, eh? But regardless of how it came to be finished, I am still glad the stressful part is over. I actually had time today to finish the scarf I had been knitting since last november.... I know I probably had plenty of time during the last year to finish it, but for some reason knitting scarves in the summer while its in the triple digits outside, just seems really off.. Like the old woman you see in the store every now and then that is pushing a baby stroller with no baby in it...and in lieu of the baby is a ratty old stuffed bear or a doll with one eye missing.
Anyway(s). So I finally finish the scarf. And I. Love. IT.. It it my new favorite thing. I know my friends are going to get sooo tired of seeing me wear it at all times, indoors and out, butIdontcare! They still haven't held an intervention for me for wearing the same faded green hoodie all the time, so maybe they will let the scarf slide as well. *I should mention that the hoodie is the best thing in the world, and (unless its summer) (and even sometimes in summer) is never off my body more than once or twice a week. But it goes with everything! And it makes my t-shirt wearing bearable during the winter. Too cold for the vintage Spiderman tee? Wear the hoodie with it! The vintage 70's Japanese Star Wars movie poster tee? Wear the the hoodie with it! The new Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon tee that I just bought a month ago, but I have already worn like 10 times? Wear the hoodie with it!

One day it will fuse with my skin, and truly become apart of me...forever and always.

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