Thursday, February 25, 2010

Hand-me-down pets have a strict no-return policy...

Of all the pets we have in this household, only one of them was actually chosen and purchased. The $3 Beta fish.. The lizard was a birthday gift for my daughter. Even though he is quite awesome, he is a bitch to feed and maintain. He has to be misted every day, several times a day, and will only eat live crickets... And before all this I never realized how fragile (and completely stupid) crickets are. You barely touch them and they fall apart, and they will drown themselves in the smallest amount of water while drinking if they get to close..... Kinda like that drunk uncle everyone has that they dread seeing on the holidays. And they smell. So again....kinda like that uncle. So in this instance I suppose its the pets food that is a bitch to take care of as opposed to the actual pet.

Our cat went through two owners before coming to us, all within a matter of weeks after being weaned. (This should have been a warning sign) And our dog, who is a pure breed Maltise, was abandonded during the coldest part of the year, right on the brink of a really bad snow storm. (ALSO should have been a warning sign) Me not being able to resist, and would not have been able to think of anything else but the poor puppy freezing outside, let him in. Now here we are one year later and he's still here. Its been two years for the cat.

This morning, I received more proof that my pets are disfunctional...

The dog and the cat share a water bowl in the kitchen floor. It is one of those that dispenses water into the tray as the water level goes down. Being that I am lazy, and usually have better things to do, it rarely gets scrubbed and filled up all the way. Usually I just pour a cup of water in there once or twice a day and call it good. But last night I realized it was getting kinda funky, so I actually took the time to scrub it out.

I scrubbed and cleaned this thing so well that the damn queen could have drank from this thing....not as if that situation comes up very often, or at all..... but the bullet point here is that it was clean, and full of sparkling clean, cool water. The pets rejoiced.

Also, being that I am a sucker and felt sorry for my little dog that gets locked in the kitchen at night (he has issues with his bowels and bladder during the night when there is no one to take him out every three hours..), and since it is still pretty cold, I gave the dog one of my throw blankets to sleep on..


This morning I stumble into the kitchen to start the coffee and step on the blanket to a most unwelcoming, cold, disgusting squish when I stepped on the blanket. Somehow during the night, the dog had worked it over to the water bowl, and it had absorbed ALL the water out of it...... and we are talking about a lot of six cups.. So needless to say, the blanket was completely soaked.

THEN....and it gets soooooo much worse....

THEN I (while cussing mildly under my breath) pick up the blanket, to uncover a dead mouse.... This mouse had no sign of trauma or injury, so it appears to have drown. WHY in the hell would a home WITH A CAT have mice at all......but one that had actually survived out in the open of the kitchen long enough to drown in wet dog blanket?!?!?!

Now.....I have seen my cat eat an entire mouse, whole, before, so Im not quite sure what happened this time. Either my emo cat feels that he is too good to be eating live (or dead) things off the floor any more, or that last one didn't sit too well and he has decided not to make the same mistake twice. Either way, as I was disposing of it, he looked at it, and me, with great disgust.

Right then I felt like an old jewish mother, clutching her chest with tissue in hand, after discovering her only son has joined the circus instead of going off to medical school as she had hoped.. "What did I do to deserve such an ungrateful child?!?!"
What indeed?........

Maybe his mental capacity is part of the problem....?

Monday, February 22, 2010

Lazyness strikes again...

More pictures. Enjoy..

Tulsa sky

Flowers at the Zoo Rainforest

More berries.....with wood this time.....ha! *sorry*..

The White Owl in Tulsa


Friday, February 19, 2010

In Defense Of My Nerd Heritage...

It has been recently brought to my attention that there are those that do not agree with individuals proudly wearing and using the title of "nerd". Those that necessarily don't disagree, but are confused by the pride the nerd-folk hold in having this label. I felt that it was my duty to set the record straight. I'd like to begin todays lesson with a story...

The other day, The Boyfriend and I were laying in bed, having one of those random 2am talks, that generally spring up out of nowhere, and usually don't actually go anywhere, but instead ends when one or both of us simply passes out. The subject was junior high and high school, how it went for each of us, and how we survived. He seemed really surprised when I told him that when in junior high I only had one or two friends. And our school was so big that I rarely ever saw them. So a large majority of lunches were spent sitting by myself while dodging french fries being thrown at me from nearby tables.
"Really????" He kept saying. ".......really????" He has assumed that school stories such as this were only being exaggerated in movies and TV shows. Nope. Really. Preteens and teenagers are pricks. Period.

But alas, I survived (with minimal emotional scarring) and trudged on to high school. I had managed to make a larger amount of friends, and off campus lunches saved me from picking food out of my hair on a daily basis. This does not mean that I went without harassment. Everyday, several times a day, there were those that felt they were better than everyone else, and they were going to drill that into your head through public humiliation...... Again, I survived. A little more bitter toward the world and the general population, but alive.

So I grew up knowing the definition of the word "nerd". I blossomed feeling like the damn word was etched across my forehead. But I survived. And more importantly, I didn't change much. I kept right on liking all the same nerdy things I liked before. Even though every corner I turned, every magazine I opened, every show I watched, I was being shown, told, lectured on how girls my age were supposed to act, dress, and project. I stuck to the things I liked.

I was given (and deserved) the title of Nerd, and I wore it proudly! Proudly I tell you! And into my adulthood I have fallen farther into that catagory, and still wear the title proudly.

How, you ask? Well let me enlighten you...

A few years back my brother worked at a comic book/gaming store. He was in charge of the RPG and table games, which meant he had to learn how to play them so he could then in turn, educate the customers. So he brought games and cards galore home and practiced with me as his pupil. One of which was the Star Wars card game.


This was one that we decided we really liked, and played quite often... My brother had gotten one set from work, which consisted of a full set of Rebels/Jedi cards, (the good guys) and a full set of the Dark side (the bad guys). I always played with the Rebels/Jedi cards, because frankly.......they are awesome. So when we decided to retire the game for the time being, my brother gave me one set, and he kept the other. Which, you need both sets to actually play, so each set alone was basically useless. Remember that episode of the Simpsons where all the old men in Springfield were apart of that "order" and each one of them had a key, and as they died off their key would be placed in the large round lock? Then the last person living inherited what was inside...? Yeah, it was kinda like that, except with Star Wars cards.......and there is only two of us.....

And who else but a nerd has toys and action figures displayed in their living the age of 30?? To name a few, I have Spiderman figures, Ghost Busters toys, and Lego Star Wars toys and figures. (and I have friends that have collections that make mine look like a happy meal prize) And to top off the obsession I just this week spent several, several hours on ebay bidding on more Star Wars Lego figures. A few of which, I won, proudly. This next week will be the longest ever, as I stand closely behind the post man as he fills all 75 mail slots, waiting for him to deliver my figures. He may call the could get ugly.

The Obi Wan, above, is my newest addition.

Every week or so, my friends and I get together and have the same conversations, over and over again. Sometimes we expound and branch out.....sometimes they can get quite heated. But they usually all contain the same set of material. Star Wars, Angel, Firefly, The Office, True Blood, gets rough..especially when there is liquor involved.

So in closing, I am a nerd. I am proud of that fact. I survived the torment of junior high and high school, and have managed to skip the therapy. I earned that title back in my youth, and held on to it until we have reached a time where people claim it. They are proud of it. Because like the rest, they went through hell to get it, it took a hell of a lot of pride to accept it, and even more guts to display it with honor.

So, suck it...

Friday, February 12, 2010

I Get High With A Little Help From My Friends, And Then Want To Steal Kids From Walmart...

This last weekend made up for the mind numbing despair that was my week, thanks to my friends. Awww! Love you guys! ..........anyway..
My friend and I started out our weekend on Friday evening by convincing another friend to go public.....with OTHER get a drink.

It was a little sad at first. See, once you hit a certain age, (especially if you spent most of your teen years drinking) you really have no desire to go to a bar. Just the general idea sounds repulsive. Its loud. Its crowded. The drinks are expensive. And the worst part of it all: ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE... But every now and then the social creatures in us break to the surface and wins over our decisions. So we went to the bar... Seeing a large amount of lonely, close to middle-aged (if not already) people, desperate to take someone home, or just out to put off going home to their mothers...was a little on the icky was one of "those" bars...

We ended up staying up soooooo much later than intended, but still had fun. The next morning (afternoon, really...who are we kidding..?) my friend and I headed out and went shopping. We made a stop at the most amazing, awesome, and totally out of the way Asian grocery store. This place is so incredibly amazing I can't even properly do it justice by expressing... They sell around 8 different types of rice (yes rice) and about 14,963 different types of tea...among other wonderful treasures that I or a majority of America knows what it is or how to pronounce. And the woman that works the front register (I believe she is the manager, or the owner, or something else equally important) is one of the crabbiest, bitchiest, and scariest women under five feet tall.. But that just adds to the atmosphere, because it is the greatest place ever.... We then later went to Walmart for the remainder of our groceries. (which is the least awesome place ever....but what can you do...?)

While at Walmart, however, we decided to wander over to the toy section to check out the Lego Star Wars sets. While discussing the different sets available, a little boy around six or seven jumped in to our conversation. He knew all the characters names.....(the obscure ones that only hardcore fans know) which sets were new, which ones were about to be discontinued..... I wanted to adopt this child.... For a brief moment of insanity, I started to wonder if I had slipped into a worm hole, gone back in to the 80's, and had just run into one (the possibilities are endless) of my friends in their childhood form.... But then I came to my senses and just realized that this child is just simply amazing and BRILLIANT... I hope his parents (which were oddly nowhere to be found) are proud...

The only original plan for the weekend was for all of us to gather at a friend's apartment, and he was to cook dinner for us. Having a man cook me dinner for a change was not something I was going to pass up, so I was rather looking forward to this.... but because of the lack of sleep the night before, and the long day of shopping, we were exhausted... I knew it was getting bad when in an attempt to keep us awake he broke out his plastic dinosaurs and recreated the "Wash and his dinosaur toys" scene from Firefly...... It didn't work...we all ended up nodding off from time to time..

But all in all, it was a good weekend.

And even though this week is nearly at its end, it has been decent. I was told that we will be making a trip to Eureeka Spring in the summer, and will be staying at a totally awesome haunted hotel. THAT is sure to be two sleep deprived, beer filled nights. I cant wait!

And to keep with the theme of the last blog. I give you a star wars reference cat picture that has absolutely no relevance to this blog.......other than the fact that I found it funny..... Enjoy.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Trying To Disguise Lazyness As Creativity...

Today just seemed like a good day for a photo blog... Enjoy.

This was taken at D-Fest. There were so many bands. So many people. And it was soooooo hot outside. (who has an outdoor festival/concert, in August, in OKLAHOMA?!?!) It was like 105 degrees that day.... and this was taken just a mere minutes before the oh so awful vomiting began......... wearing Chucks......while up-chucking...ha, ha.....ha..? Sorry, had to.

It took several shots, and many many dollars worth of fireworks before I got a shot that I was satisfied with. And nobody lost a finger or got set on fire that year! Yeah for Independence Day!!

The weird marble/globe/water monument at the zoo that all the kids obsess over. Seriously, its like kid crack...

Yeah, those are just berries.

Fountain at Woodward Park

Pac Man Lillies!!! I don't think that is really what they are called, but whatever.

Friday, February 5, 2010

T.G.I.F. (yes, I too want to set people on fire when they use that acronym)

The complete crap-fest that has been my week is finally coming to an end. I'm in high hopes that this weekend will pull me back of that proverbial edge. (i said proverbial, call off the intervention) And not that one thing in particular was bad enough to have me sitting in the dark in my crappiest bath robe eating double chunk ice cream with cool ranch Doritos in lieu of a spoon.....but really the combination of the week's events that have created this shit storm of emotions..

My week started out like any other. Happy for school to be back in session after a three day weekend due to snow and ice..... Its gettin old Winter..enough already! But as time progressed on, the Evil Week was determined to piss in my cheerios.

Things were moving right along when I get, yet another phone call from (*insert cell phone manufacturer here). The Boyfriend recently bought me a (*insert brand and model of cell phone here). One of its perks is that it is a touch screen and I have the ability to download applications for the phone. This phone, for some reason, will not do this. After "chatting" with tech support on the Internet for close to an hour, he/or she comes to the realization that they cannot fix the problem and they will transfer my issue to a "higher-up". So after waiting for two weeks, someone finally gets back to me, but cannot help me because I have to shut off the phone in order to fix the problem. This however cannot be done at that particular moment, because I am TALKING TO HER ON SAID CELL PHONE. After much a long winded explanation that I DO NOT have another phone line, which she didn't seem to understand, ("wha....? You just have the one cell phone and no land line.......? I.....don't phone.......? Wha....?) she stated that she would just call me back.......HOW IS THAT GOING TO HELP????

But anyway... I know, I know.... I'm a spoiled brat. But I have the phone, I should be able to use ALL of its features. AM i right???

Anyhoo. Frustrated from the useless phone call, I decide to take my dog for a walk and get some fresh air. The first thing to greet me outside, is about a dozen (freakishly large) puddles of spit. Now this has been going on for over six months now, and Ive about reached my clock tower point.

As a short explanation; I live upstairs. My door is right off the the steps. Back when I still smoked I would sit on the top step to do so. This would put me about two feet from my door. The neighbor downstairs (who appears to be in his late 20's/ early 30's and still lives with his mother) has decided to come A-L-L the way up the stairs to sit in front of my door, smoke pot, and spit repeatedly onto the ground and steps in front and to the side of him..... which is essentially: my doorstep.

And if this was his only offense, it wouldn't be QUITE so bad....but he also: has one of his many girlfriends "service" him right there in the hallway. Has his friends come pick him up at all hours of the day and night, and let their presence be known by blaring their stereo for what seems to be 10 to 20 minutes before he realizes they are there. AND every now and then, one of the girlfriends will find out about one of the many other girlfriends, and come screeching through the parking lot, to then jump out of the car and begin screaming profanity, before finding out that he is in fact, not home........ Kill me.

(i said short explanation. Sorry, i lied.)

And added on top of that, maintenance wont install a new microwave in my apartment. The one I have is literally one of the first models of microwaves ever made! And it shoots out blue sparks about every third time it is used.
The Boyfriend suggested that we invite parents over to join us for our Valentines Day dinner. The dinner that I have been planning the menu for months now. The one that didn't involve OTHER PEOPLE....... Yeah...that one.
Recently another blogger (that I am totally hooked on reading) totally and completely crapped all over something that I loooooove. Wont go in to what or who, because everyone is entitled to their opinion, and the right to express their opinion. But it was kinda like when you are totally obsessed with a band or movie or something of the like, and you think that it is the most awesome thing on the planet. And everyone else on the planet MUST feel the same way as you, because after all, its awesome! Then you find out that everyone else you know thinks that it is total crap....... yeah it was like that. It stings.
And last but not least; The de-worming meds I am giving my cat makes him vomit......a lot. I don't just mean the occasional little puddle. No. This is apocalyptic, crime scene, totally over the top, amount of vomit. Enough said.

BUT..... I am welcoming this weekend with open arms. Being that I am an optimistic, glass half full kinda person, I am expecting.......HAHAHAHA.....
Yeah, sorry, I couldn't even get through that with a strait face....... whew!

But seriously. Bring it on weekend! I can take it.....
This picture really has nothing to do with this post. I just thought it was funny.
Happy Weekend Everyone!